Imagine: God’s Will

It seems like I’ve been asking the same question for a long time: "What is God’s will for my life?" I’ve waited months - perhaps even years - without a clear answer. I've asked Him many times.

This question opens the door to a host of other questions: Where do I work? What projects do I take on? Who do I say 'yes' to? Who do I say 'no' to? Who do I choose to spend time with?

The list could be endless, and I don't usually come up with any answers.

"Does God really care for me?" That's a question that inevitably comes up for me when I continue down that path.

I was created by God, in His image, and surely there is a purpose for me. He blessed me with the talents I have, and he is excited about me. Even knowing this, I was confronted with the same question.

However, the clouds started to part when I stopped to ask "What is God's will?" instead of "What is God's will for me?" the floodgates suddenly opened. God's will is for people to come to Jesus. God's will is to heal broken people. It seems so obvious now.

The question is "What can I do to bring people to Jesus?", not "What is the meaning of my life?"

Imagine: Come as you are.

Friends and family will attest that I'm a pretty calm guy. When
wedding planning was running crazy, I was the calm one who followed
the plan and made sure things happened. I work in live event
production, an industry where EVERYTHING is subject to change, up to
the last minute. I'm the calm guy that makes sure it happens, that
corrects the mistakes before they're even made, and enjoys it.
Something's on fire? Alright, we'll put it out. Order got changed?
We'll run with it.

But there are two things that really get me riled up. The first is
board games. Ask my wife. We've had more arguments over board games
than almost anything else. She has board game related injuries. If
you want to come play Dutch Blitz with me, you have to sign a waiver.

The second thing that gets me riled up is people who say one thing and
do another. Who commit and then bail. And I don't think I'm alone.
I have a huge amount of respect for the people who say "I'm sorry, I
can't, I'm already booked." If it's important to you, make time, and
keep that time. A promise of "I'll be there" is important to keep.

This morning, I was teaching a class. Or was supposed to.
Registration was low - in fact, only one person registered. I was
asked if I wanted to continue. I said yes - after all, I'd rather
teach to one person then have to send people away because registration
was low. That seems a poor excuse to deny someone the chance for
learning. So I got up early on the weekend, set up, prepared my
materials, and waited.

And no one showed up. I could be still in bed, enjoying a good book,
sipping a cup of tea early in the morning.

If there was one thing I could change, it would be as Jesus said "let
your yes be yes and your no no."

I think it's because people are afraid to say no.

What do you think? Let me know what you've bailed on, or when you've
been bailed on - how can we work together to make this better?

Inspire: They Need Me!

I'm composing this post from bed. This is the epicenter for Flu
Wars! I have my tylenol, lozenges, water, and even Aunt Sandra's
tried and tested flu remedy surrounding me (it's mostly citrus and
garlic. It has indeed been tried and found effective in repelling
vampires - as to the flu, well, the jury's still out).

Now being sick is a real bummer. What's even worse is being sick four
days before your wedding. There was supposed to be lots of time to
wrap up all the loose ends, get last minute planning done, and prepare
everything that needs preparing. Now, I'm under strict bed rest
orders, my fiancee is running around like crazy, and the rest of the
wedding party is trying to make up for the shortfall (oh, except one
of the bridesmaids - did I mention that she's recovering from hurting
her ankle in a nice innocent picnic get together for our friends?).

The worst part about this is that I want to lead. I want to take
other people's burdens, get stuff done, stay up late if necessary, and
make sure that everything goes super smoothly. Now, not only am I not
active in doing that, I'm actually causing people to worry about me.
I feel like I'm abandoning people in their hour of need.

So what does this tell me? Well, the simple part is that I really
need to trust in the Lord. If this thing doesn't happen without me at
the reigns, it obviously hasn't been fully surrendered. Maybe this is
a chance for some of our out of town guests to put aside animosity,
roll up their sleeves, and work towards a common goal. Maybe this is
the Lord's way of preparing me in the way I've avoided until now -
being a humble husband.

I've done what I can, and now it's up to the Lord. May HE lead the
way - because, after all, this marriage really is about him.

Transcend: Satisfaction vs. Satiation

I was thinking and praying this morning about how, sometimes, life
seems to be so unsatisfying. Just quietly taking my requests to the
Lord - why don't you fix this? Why don't you make this better? I
need some sort of satisfaction - something to get me through.

What I realized, however, about halfway through, was that I was asking
the wrong question - from the wrong perspective - and getting the
wrong answer. I wasn't asking for satisfaction, I was asking for
satiation. I was saying "I have this desire - I want you to make it
feel better so I don't have to suffer." I was looking for a selfish
high, a fix. "Lord, give me the happy pills so I don't have to get
down to solving whatever is really wrong.

Satisfaction, true satisfaction, is not found in what Christ does for
me, but is a personal choice. I can choose to be satisfied that His
work on the cross is complete, or I can choose to not. I can choose
to be satisfied that I have been given life and so many blessings that
come with it, or not. Satisfaction does not mean that all my desires
are met, but it means that I accept what I have been given so I can
continue walking the path with my savior.

We were never promised satiation. Even when we get to heaven, we're
going to be there eternally. If all our desires were met the instant
we got there, we'd be in for a really, really boring infinite choir
practice. The Lord knows, because he's created us, that we are
insatiable. We desire more. I will never be loved enough where I say
"oh, watch out - stop loving me - I'm done." We may be temporarily
sated for a time, but it never lasts.

Satisfaction, the the other hand, is a dynamic variable, based not on
how we feel in the moment, but on how we interpret what is happening
to us. I am satisfied that the Lord chooses to talk to me, even when
I don't think He's there or doubt Him. I am satisfied when He
overturns my plans for His. I am satisfied when He brings truth.
However, that does not mean my desire is completely fulfilled - it
means, if anything, I am shown how much more desire there is yet to
come.

Transcend: Judgment

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” (1 Corinthians 13:4-7)

These verses are often quoted as a reminder; a reminder of what love truly is. Sometimes they can be heard at a marriage ceremony, and other times in a sermon. Sometimes they are reduced to a checklist or a to-do list.

God showed me something today. He showed me that we are often too critical and judgmental of ourselves. We are habitually harder on ourselves than we are on anyone else. He showed me that I can be gentle towards myself, because He loves me unconditionally, and His love is not based on performance. It’s not based on what I do wrong and what I do right. I realized that I don’t love myself the same way. My self-love is often determined by my performance.

What would it look like to love ourselves the way these verses talk about?

What if we were more patient and kind with ourselves? What if we kept no record of our own wrongs?

The Word also teaches us to love our neighbor as ourselves. If we learned to be less judgmental toward ourselves, wouldn’t we also learn to love others in a more meaningful way?

I have heard it said that our outer world reflects our inner world. That can sound like a lot of pressure, but we can take it one day at a time. We can learn to be gentler with ourselves.

Inspire: Little faith

My natural inclination to have a secure life that needs little faith ends up being a life that needs very little God, either. That’s the deadly part of security and safety, we get used to living without God. There’s no need for God to show up. “All set, Lord,” becomes our silent, unconscious prayer.

Read the full article here: http://www.churchinchapelhill.com/a-confession/

RMOJ: Deer me!

Last night, I took the bike out to run a quick errand. No backpack, no hinderances, just me and the wind. Rode through some beautiful woods as the sun dipped low on the horizon... and ran into a deer - almost literally. Right in the middle of the city. And around the bend, a flight of jays and a robin. And on the way back, I got to see a whole family - mom coming up close to make sure I didn't try anything, dad making sure the kids were eating right.

You don't just see that stuff on a random trip in the city. I was blessed.

Imagine: Forgetting That You Are Famous

I don't normally quote on here, but I found this article from Stuff
Christians Like particularly amazing:

"The only time I've ever been recognized was not as weird as I thought
it would be. I guess in my head I envisioned my family and I would be
walking in the mall and some stranger would exclaim, "Jon Acuff? The
Jon Acuff? Wow, it is you!" Then I would blush and maybe shield my
kids behind me with my arm because this person's adoration would be so
intense. They'd say, "Oh, please, say something that is both sarcastic
and insightful at the same time. You're so wise and adequately
heighted." I'd correct them on the use of the word "heighted" which is
actually not a word, and then I'd say two or three off-the-cuff
sentences that would change their life and then maybe sign their arm
or a Bible if it were available. Seems like a pretty reasonable
expectation, right?

It didn't happen like that. A guy just walked up to me at church and
introduced himself. We talked for a few minutes about Stuff Christians
Like. The whole thing was over before I knew it and was pretty
uneventful. Which is probably exactly how God wanted it.

I tend to get ego drunk pretty quickly. When people compliment me,
outwardly I do the Christian courtesy of immediately rejecting the
kind words. Inwardly though, I'm often drinking in their kindness and
doing a little "look how awesome I am" dance. I'm patting myself on
the back with both arms and both legs at the same time, which is
difficult but not impossible since I've taken yoga twice. (Which may
or may not be "of the devil"–jury's still out on that one.)

Knowing that about myself, knowing I'm prone to massive "me parades,"
I am constantly wrestling with God over the unexpected growth of Stuff
Christians Like. There's a circle of famous Christians right now: big
pastors, authors who have written amazing books, speakers who stalk
conference stages like cougars. And I wanted to be inside it. I wanted
to become a famous Christian.

One night while jogging, I confessed that to God. As ugly and as
shallow as this sounds, I said to Him, "God, I want my story to give
me fame. I want fame. I want to be famous."

In a split second, I felt like God laughed. Not at me, but with me,
which is something I feel like He regularly does. In my heart, I heard:

"Ha! You want fame? The creator of the universe knows your name. The
Alpha and Omega knows who you are and what you care about. That's as
famous as you're ever going to be. Whose acknowledgment of you is
going to stand up next to mine?"

At that point, I started laughing too, because He was right. I'm
already famous. God knew me in the womb. He knows how many hairs are
on my head. He's my absolutely biggest fan and I'm famous in His eyes.
So are you. He's got a blog about you that is simply astounding. He
follows you on Twitter and started a fan group dedicated to you on
Facebook. He can't stop talking about you and pouring out love on you.

Is whatever you're doing right now in life going to make you famous?
Maybe it will, maybe it won't. But ultimately it doesn't matter. As
Christians, we've already peaked. We can stop worrying about trying to
become famous Christians. That's done.

We are all famous.

Original article at http://stufffchristianslike.blogspot.com/2009/05/537-forgetting-that-you-are-famous.html

Inspire: Klingon Wisdom

"Klingon schools are designed to be difficult. The physical and
mental hardships faced by the students are meant to build character
and strength. However, if you wish to face a greater challenge, you
may stay here with me. It will not be easy for either of us, but
perhaps we can face the challenge together."

Lt. Worf to his son, Alexander, after rescuing him from a fire (Star
Trek The Next Generation, ep. 210 "New Ground")

There's something inspiring about what Worf says here - something very
masculine, in the heart of a father who knows his son needs a man, in
the heart of a warrior who knows that without a vision, those he leads
will use their strength to serve their own selfish ends. This whole
episode should be watched in a study of masculinity - what it means to
be a man, a father, a warrior, a provider. Honor and truth and
mercy. That there is something beautiful about a strong man who is
willing to use that strength to protect those he loves.

Inspire: Isolation is the enemy.

I'm sick right now.

Now a debilitating, sit in bed with a good book and glass of water,
just hope that the day passes kind of sick. But a casual, you feel
almost good enough to go out, and then you do, and you feel worse the
next day. A low level attack that keeps on ticking. And while I have
to make sure I do sensible things like drink plenty of fluids and get
to sleep at a decent hour, there's one other thing that I need to do
to ensure my health.

Get connected.

The worst part about sickness is not the ailment itself - it's the
fact that I can no longer go around and see people, be connected and
contributing to my community. Even though I'm in a place where I get
a of of community coming to me, I still need to be able to seek it out
- from something as simple as waving to my neighbor walking her cat to
something as complex as leading a team towards a common goal at work.

Even though my body says "hold it!" my mind is sharp as ever, and
craves the community - people to interact with, important things to
get done.

Transcend: Why Pray?

I find it so interesting how I'm in a job now as I was with my previous job where I know someone that doesn't believe in God, yet....talks about him in the sense that he's trying to disprove he exists. Claims its just what other people think, why do "other" people think like this? he asks. The most interesting chat today was about prayer. "Why Pray"? He asked. When everyone in the world lives to be around the same age and whether you are a believer or not you still end up dying of the same stuff.

You know, God never intended that we were to be immuned from the same problems and diseases that un-believers deal with. When your trying to understand the question "why pray" for those that believe its your direct line with God, we know this well. On the other hand I just continually get the question in my head when I have these chats with people, "why not believe? Isn't that better then believing in nothing at all?" Why pray I ask? It might help save those people that we know in our lives that do not know or see God daily because they have bought into the devil's lies, may we all pray for those around us that do not see and do not know the glory of the lord and the goodness that the rest of us are so blessed to know on a daily basis.

RMOJ: Could I have a spotlight, please?

I'm tired, and at the end of my rope, and cranky.

And then a grown man starts improvising childish actions and asking for a spotlight.  And I crack up, play along, and am refreshed.

Transcend: Riches do not profit in the day of wrath

It is 6 weeks now that i have not been working. Others who have family to support, or who did not choose to resign from their job are facing a tougher battle than me. It has been a wild and wondrous walk with the Lord - waiting on Him to provide a job and yet still running back and forth like a chicken without a head trying to make it happen the best that i can in the flesh. It seems now that i'm missing out on something big. While the money is dwindling weekly, i don't want that to be the focus - and it too often is. I'm hoping that God will be glorified in transcending me into someone who doesn't care about controlling money and where its next source will come from.

This morning i woke up with a puffy eye and it hurts. It reminds me of the verse that says "Get the plank out of your own eye before trying to remove the speck out of your neighbours" I wonder if the speck is the source of money and where it will come next and this plank in my eye is the lack of trust, a deep sense of obligation of needing to rely on myself, or even worse, a desire for money and comfort high above a desire for the God and Father that brought me out of death into life. This verse from Proverbs popped up in my reading this morning:

"Riches do not profit in the day of wrath, but righteousness delivers from death"

Lord, may Your will be done in our lives today. Remind us Lord what you have brought us from and what we are selling ourselves short of. Teach us God about following you and being a blessing by following in faith without sight. We need you, I need you now Lord, Amen.

Imagine: Answers from Within

Sometimes I think that if I just ask enough people the right
questions, I'll get the answers I need.

And most of the time, that works. I can ask a specialist about a
specific question that baffles me at work. I can get a second opinion
from another doctor. I can ask "where am I spending my money?" and
come up with a budget.

Ask, investigate, plan, do, revise. That's generally how I live my
life. There's a series of problems to be solved, and every day leads
me one step closer to things more easily falling into place. And
there is a large portion of the world that works this way.

But interestingly, none of that large portion is, to me at this
moment, interesting in the least. Because they're all minor
problems. The big problems aren't really problems - they're questions
- and the answers aren't found from outside. They're found from within.

Why do I love someone? I can ask all sorts of experts, but even if I
had it explained, the answer wouldn't satisfy. Where do I get my
strength from? How do I live life? Why am I happy? Why am I not?
Why is it that this world seems to operate by a set of principles...
and I don't get to choose them?

Those answers are ones I must answer by myself. Alone. Others may
have opinions, but that is all they are. What I need is convictions -
firm beliefs that don't change based on circumstance, values that hold
true to the real way this world works.

Imagine: Knowing Yourself

Who is David Andrew Wiebe?

This has become an increasingly important question over the last few days as God has been showing me what I’ve been striving for over the last 13 years.

I’ve been seeking approval from my dad.

My dad passed on when I was 13. Shortly before leaving this world, he made me do a lot of things that he thought were for my benefit. He wanted me to learn English, because my reading and writing skills were poor. He wanted me to read my Bible, get better grades in school, write emails, and all sorts of things I wasn’t ready to take on. I just wanted to enjoy myself, hang out with friends, and play video games. My dad never said it in so many words, but he was basically telling me that what I was doing wasn’t enough.

I don’t think my dad was ever satisfied with where he was. He always wanted to accomplish more, and move on to the next big thing. He had a reputation for multitasking, doing many things simultaneously.

I had found great joy in spending time with my friends in Japan. I had also found a lot of heartache in the expectations of my father, and the abusive behavior that some teachers exhibited in Japan. “Paradise lost”, as Eldredge puts it.

In the last 13 years I’ve far exceeded my father’s expectations. I’ve become a proficient writer, an avid guitar player, and a Christ follower. I read my Bible and other books, and I’ve become adept at using my computer. I know how to construct web pages and send emails.

That’s all well and good, but this is the life my father wanted for me, not the life that I wanted. Would he be proud of me? I don’t know. Like I said, he wasn’t really satisfied with any level of performance. It’s one thing to have higher expectations for somebody; It’s quite another to fail to empower your own child.

Who is David Andrew Wiebe? I don’t know. I’m still looking. God please show me.

Transcend: Hope

Tonight was such an amazing night at the shelter. Just as every other time when something amazing happens, i didn't want to go - i felt like i had nothing to give and didn't really see the value in me going. I'm so glad that i went though. The whole night was busy with people sitting at the table i was at and allowing me to pray with them. There were a couple of highlights. One was when one of the guests told me that they want to start going to church. The second highlight was one of the guests who has a frostbitten toe (and may have to get it removed) that i got to pray with. We prayed for an opportunity for him to get off the street and to have a miracle to heal his foot. No less than 10 minutes later, one of staff came up to him and told him that as of tomorrow, he'll be able to get off the street and start living in a room at the shelter. Brethren, if you could have seen the look in his eyes - the look of joy and of hope - that i got to experience. He is most excited about being able to take a bath or shower. It's quite hard to hold down a job when you haven't had a shower for a few weeks. It's these simple things that i take for granted. Lord, thank You for answering prayers. I pray that you will continue to work in the lives of Lenny and Will. Lord will you overwhelm them with Your healing powers. Abba, please show them Your love. We love you Lord! All praises to You! Amen.

Life

Life. Big word... pretty much describes everything and anything. i simply love it. i have decided i am going to change the world. i have decided with God, that the world isn't going to come to an end yet, not under our watch. It really has to change though, there is a lot about it that is disturbing, upsetting, disappointing, and or just simply, not right. but it is one hundred percent totally ok. Because we are going to change it. Its what i want to do, really! I simply love this world, i love you, i love God, i just love it, and i have decided to enjoy the journey to my destination, because that is what matters, and that is where the progress is. God told me everything is going to be ok, and it is going to be ok! i do a few things in my life that shape how amazing it is. number one, i live by the beat of my own drum, my own opinion, even though i am open one hundred percent to yours. Two, society is not healthy. I choose to never live a life where i have to work just to live, just to pay the bills, just to have some money in the bank in order to keep me going until i finally die. No. I have decided to explore Gods creations, and people, and i have decided that nothing is going to stop me from loving every bit of the good, and the bad, ill explain myself on that. The bad, why do i take it in a positive way? Because it teaches us lessons, and how boring would we be if we were perfect? God puts us through the bad in order to learn how to intake and cherish the good, amazing, and wonderful. My name is Tim Snelgrove, and me and you are going to change the world...

RMOJ: Gratitude

Who knew that there could be so much goodness in doing and having less? i am starting to understand that the beauty that we have in this life is always around us. Even in the grey and chilly days of winter, it's still there. I'm so thankful for being able to quit my job, and to have nothing to rely on except God's promises that He will provide. i'm so thankful to be able to see the Blessings in the midst of uncertainty. i'm most of all thankful to stop pushing and forcing things to work out my way and in my timing. i'm thankful to be able to stop and just appreciate how rich and full and blessed my life is right this very moment. i've never felt this way before. it's so good :)

Transcend: With You, Turtle.

Some days, I don't have the answers.

And that's OK. Because I don't need to have all the answers.

And some days, I don't even get the questions right. Or I run away
with my answers because I don't want to see the results of the test.
And when I'm in that state, there is nothing more that I want to do
than turtle. I pull my arms and legs and head back inside my shell,
and mutter under my breath "Why does no one save me?" I don't realize
that in the act of pulling into my shell, I've removed any ability for
me to move out of the crushing blows being reigned down on me by the
passing hordes. And when all I see is feet ready to crush me, it's
easier to pull inside where it's dark and I don't have to let the
world know how afraid I am - except that it's telegraphed by my very
state.

And then, when I've been safe and miserable in my shell for long
enough, I feel something strange - someone is picking me up. Moving
me away from the crowds of people. Now I can't move even if I did
have the courage to stick my head back out again. And after a while,
I am set down - away from the rush and the crush. And sometimes, when
I am lucky, I can see the sandals of the kind stranger who carried me
here, waiting for me to resume my journey.

And I still have no idea to navigate that crush the next time it comes
across my path. But somehow, someone always picks me up and carries
me to safety - not necessarily in the direction I thought I should be
heading, but towards a place I want to go. And I'm not there yet.

But that's OK... slow and steady finds this race won.

Transcend: My Plans

Today wasn’t supposed to go this way.

I woke up tired and annoyed. I started reasoning in my head, making up reasons why people just didn’t seem to appreciate me or respect my time. I knew that my thinking was stinking and I didn’t want to go there, but the harder I tried to avoid it, the harder it seemed to be to get away from it.

After I dropped off my roommate, I proceeded to run some errands. First stop: car wash. Second stop: haircut. As I’m returning to my vehicle, I see that my spare tire cover is gone. I figured that I should go back to the car wash and check there, but first I decided to go to Staples to pick up a couple of items. Found the jewel cases but no CD mailers. Then I went back to the car wash, and was able to retrieve my tire cover (*phew*). I proceeded to another Staples location to see if I could find CD mailers, but to no avail. It was just around that time that I realized that my hairdresser had not done what I had requested, even though I must have specified 2 or 3 times.

I feel like I would be better able to cope with days like this if I weren’t as tired, or if I was in a better mood, but they always seem to happen on the days I wake up on the wrong side of the bed.

I realize that as long as I’m living, I can’t really avoid situations like this. I realize these are petty things, and in the grand scheme of things it doesn’t mean that my day was a failure.

Regardless, I feel like I could have done a better job of keeping my peace. There’s no reason to get irritated and annoyed when we have yet to arrive and we are still on our way to where we are going. The journey may not be as glamorous as the destination, but if we can’t enjoy the journey, then we may not appreciate the destination as much either.

Inspire: When You Love Someone, You Let Them Go.

Today marks a first in this relationship for me - maybe it's a second,
but if it is, I don't remember it.

Because of last minute changes, plans for today that would have seen
me out and about in the great outdoors see me instead in the not-so-
bad indoors. And the one I love is in the great outdoors. This is
the first time that we've planned to do something together and it's
fallen apart for one of us, and the other has still decided to go.

Because the relationship is strong enough to survive as a beautiful
friendship.

Because while I will miss her, I know that she's going to have a great
time. And I'd rather her have a good time with friends then spend
time with me and awkwardly abandon her responsibilities to her friends.

And because I know I'll end up with some good photos of her loving the
outdoors - and we'll be able to do more of that together in the future.

Because there's plenty of time for us to be together.

And plenty of God to hold us close when we are apart.

Inspire: Give me the instant relationship glue

This is the beginning of a new post.

And soon, it will have an end. And you can search for it, and read another one, but once this is over, it's over.

Resolution is something I constantly seek. Finish work so I go home. Finish paying off that debt. Finishing school so I can graduate. Finishing unpacking the boxes in the basement so it finally feels like home.

And I seek it in my relationships - finishing people. I'll start with someone who has a few of the right characteristics, and mold them into 100% reliable, 100% dependable, trustworthy, wise, and with a good sense of humor.

But people don't like being molded. And they're not finished. The only "finished" people I know exist on the other side of the sod. I need to be more willing to walk with incomplete people - because, just like them, that's where I am. I need to be more willing to forgive. I need to be more willing to teach and to learn.

Most of all, I need to remember that real life happens in that tension between what we were and what we are becoming. If there is no tension, it's because there is no growth. The state of being unresolved leads me to seek new ideas, new perspectives, new information. I need to make decisions slowly - leaving time for other perspectives to come in. I need to be willing to work in curing process.

Ah, enough of that - just give me the instant relationship glue... although it never seems to stick long enough for me to do anything useful.