Imagine: Knowing Yourself

Who is David Andrew Wiebe?

This has become an increasingly important question over the last few days as God has been showing me what I’ve been striving for over the last 13 years.

I’ve been seeking approval from my dad.

My dad passed on when I was 13. Shortly before leaving this world, he made me do a lot of things that he thought were for my benefit. He wanted me to learn English, because my reading and writing skills were poor. He wanted me to read my Bible, get better grades in school, write emails, and all sorts of things I wasn’t ready to take on. I just wanted to enjoy myself, hang out with friends, and play video games. My dad never said it in so many words, but he was basically telling me that what I was doing wasn’t enough.

I don’t think my dad was ever satisfied with where he was. He always wanted to accomplish more, and move on to the next big thing. He had a reputation for multitasking, doing many things simultaneously.

I had found great joy in spending time with my friends in Japan. I had also found a lot of heartache in the expectations of my father, and the abusive behavior that some teachers exhibited in Japan. “Paradise lost”, as Eldredge puts it.

In the last 13 years I’ve far exceeded my father’s expectations. I’ve become a proficient writer, an avid guitar player, and a Christ follower. I read my Bible and other books, and I’ve become adept at using my computer. I know how to construct web pages and send emails.

That’s all well and good, but this is the life my father wanted for me, not the life that I wanted. Would he be proud of me? I don’t know. Like I said, he wasn’t really satisfied with any level of performance. It’s one thing to have higher expectations for somebody; It’s quite another to fail to empower your own child.

Who is David Andrew Wiebe? I don’t know. I’m still looking. God please show me.

Transcend: Hope

Tonight was such an amazing night at the shelter. Just as every other time when something amazing happens, i didn't want to go - i felt like i had nothing to give and didn't really see the value in me going. I'm so glad that i went though. The whole night was busy with people sitting at the table i was at and allowing me to pray with them. There were a couple of highlights. One was when one of the guests told me that they want to start going to church. The second highlight was one of the guests who has a frostbitten toe (and may have to get it removed) that i got to pray with. We prayed for an opportunity for him to get off the street and to have a miracle to heal his foot. No less than 10 minutes later, one of staff came up to him and told him that as of tomorrow, he'll be able to get off the street and start living in a room at the shelter. Brethren, if you could have seen the look in his eyes - the look of joy and of hope - that i got to experience. He is most excited about being able to take a bath or shower. It's quite hard to hold down a job when you haven't had a shower for a few weeks. It's these simple things that i take for granted. Lord, thank You for answering prayers. I pray that you will continue to work in the lives of Lenny and Will. Lord will you overwhelm them with Your healing powers. Abba, please show them Your love. We love you Lord! All praises to You! Amen.

Life

Life. Big word... pretty much describes everything and anything. i simply love it. i have decided i am going to change the world. i have decided with God, that the world isn't going to come to an end yet, not under our watch. It really has to change though, there is a lot about it that is disturbing, upsetting, disappointing, and or just simply, not right. but it is one hundred percent totally ok. Because we are going to change it. Its what i want to do, really! I simply love this world, i love you, i love God, i just love it, and i have decided to enjoy the journey to my destination, because that is what matters, and that is where the progress is. God told me everything is going to be ok, and it is going to be ok! i do a few things in my life that shape how amazing it is. number one, i live by the beat of my own drum, my own opinion, even though i am open one hundred percent to yours. Two, society is not healthy. I choose to never live a life where i have to work just to live, just to pay the bills, just to have some money in the bank in order to keep me going until i finally die. No. I have decided to explore Gods creations, and people, and i have decided that nothing is going to stop me from loving every bit of the good, and the bad, ill explain myself on that. The bad, why do i take it in a positive way? Because it teaches us lessons, and how boring would we be if we were perfect? God puts us through the bad in order to learn how to intake and cherish the good, amazing, and wonderful. My name is Tim Snelgrove, and me and you are going to change the world...

RMOJ: Gratitude

Who knew that there could be so much goodness in doing and having less? i am starting to understand that the beauty that we have in this life is always around us. Even in the grey and chilly days of winter, it's still there. I'm so thankful for being able to quit my job, and to have nothing to rely on except God's promises that He will provide. i'm so thankful to be able to see the Blessings in the midst of uncertainty. i'm most of all thankful to stop pushing and forcing things to work out my way and in my timing. i'm thankful to be able to stop and just appreciate how rich and full and blessed my life is right this very moment. i've never felt this way before. it's so good :)

Transcend: With You, Turtle.

Some days, I don't have the answers.

And that's OK. Because I don't need to have all the answers.

And some days, I don't even get the questions right. Or I run away
with my answers because I don't want to see the results of the test.
And when I'm in that state, there is nothing more that I want to do
than turtle. I pull my arms and legs and head back inside my shell,
and mutter under my breath "Why does no one save me?" I don't realize
that in the act of pulling into my shell, I've removed any ability for
me to move out of the crushing blows being reigned down on me by the
passing hordes. And when all I see is feet ready to crush me, it's
easier to pull inside where it's dark and I don't have to let the
world know how afraid I am - except that it's telegraphed by my very
state.

And then, when I've been safe and miserable in my shell for long
enough, I feel something strange - someone is picking me up. Moving
me away from the crowds of people. Now I can't move even if I did
have the courage to stick my head back out again. And after a while,
I am set down - away from the rush and the crush. And sometimes, when
I am lucky, I can see the sandals of the kind stranger who carried me
here, waiting for me to resume my journey.

And I still have no idea to navigate that crush the next time it comes
across my path. But somehow, someone always picks me up and carries
me to safety - not necessarily in the direction I thought I should be
heading, but towards a place I want to go. And I'm not there yet.

But that's OK... slow and steady finds this race won.