Imagine: Elections that work.

I'm a Canadian citizen. And part of being a Canadian citizen is the right, and often touted as the duty, to vote.

Voting is a simple process. You receive an information card in the mail about two weeks before the election, you report to the correct polling station, and you cast your ballot. Simple, effective. You get to concentrate on the issues.

That's the theory.

Here's how it's working for me, in practice.

I receive a card in the mail that states "Please contact your local Elections Canada Office before Tuesday, October 7, 2008 at 6:00 PM if: you did not receive a voter information card."

And you know what, oddly enough, I didn't receive a card. I voted in the last election - my card came just fine that time. But I didn't get one this time. Hmm. OK, I'll call the 1-800 number so conveniently printed on the card and ask for my voter information card to be resent.

So I call: 1-800-463-6868. I'm listing the number here because it is public, and if you're at all interested in learning just how annoyed I am, you can call it.

It's an automated voice system. After getting through "English" and "Voter information card," the voice tells me that I should have received my card by now... and dumps me out into the main menu. No way to ask about why I HAVEN'T received my card.

So here a phone system designed to answer problems... that dispenses the same information I already have on the card that tells me to phone the number. Quite literally, the recording was made by someone reading off the card. Except the card is more in depth and faster.

Alright, so I'll send out an email. There's no excuse for Elections Canada to not have a phone number that actually works, but I'm conversant with technology - I'm sure I can send out an email and have an answer by tomorrow.

Except there's no email address listed on the card. There's a physical mailing address - except that I'll be out of the country and not be able to actually carry on a conversation via postal service, probably including four of five letters back and forth, before the election occurs.

Oh, I can FAX Elections Canada. I don't have a fax machine. I run my own business and WE don't have a fax machine. I work as a contractor, ordering supplies, sending drawings, documents with signatures... I've used a fax machine twice in the last ten years.

I take a more careful look at the card... it says "local Elections Canada Office." Maybe that 1-800 number is national - I can find a local number, and they'll be able to help me out.

Except Elections Canada isn't listed in the government directory. I end up calling the general information line. They hook me up with... you guessed it - the same 1-800 number I just called. Apparently there's people there, waiting to take my call (wondering why none of the phones ring, because the automated system doesn't allow you to speak to an operator).

So come election day, I'll walk into my polling station, and vote. Without my voter registration card. Without using the system they put in place to streamline things. I'm the guy that makes them put in extra time and paperwork to record my vote.

Because apparently, voting is a complicated process.